June Update

Happy pride. I hope you're able to celebrate in safety and with loved ones around you.

I started college this month! eek!!! it's all online and self-directed, which is what i prefer. it's going well!! i'm doing a basic python course, so now i can go "OH like ren'py???? this is in ren'py????" LOL

im still playing 100 line... i love it... it's peak its kino i cry and i laugh i hope and despair... when i was younger, i had a foolish worry that nothing would ever feel good again. but that was wrong. i was so wrong. no matter what, you have to live. and you'll be happier then you ever thought you could be.

art

You may have caught it on my posts page or on my bsky; i was able to print a small run of second shift thanks to everyone who's bought a copy so far!

I'm working on something small for noah's ark i'm not allowed draw this! zine, look forward to it.

gamedev

slowly making time for trophies again. i know i'll finish it, but it had the unfortunate problem of being my project while i was going through personal stuff in 2023-2024.

i did show a build to a friend and it made me realise... oh no... i hate this!!!! i dont want anyone to see it!!!! suddenly all the changes i wanted came into vision and i wanted to hide it!! it's not perfect!! how embarrassing to have a rough draft!!!!

i know thats ridiculous. i'm the queen of "just write it just draw it just put it out there"... ahh my own advice has come back to haunt me!!!! now IM struggling!!!! im having a mental block!!!!!!

trophies is another personal one, like walk in the sun. i think the subject matter might be a little difficult, a little personal and i'm still figuring out what's essential and what fat to trim. i think everything is there, but i'm not telling it the way the characters need it to be told... isn't it annoying when character's dont do as their told?

...i guess i'm worried about what people would think of me. a problem i write a lot about LOL. i cant really deal with that too cool detachment that dominates online feedback, when people assume because you're a womanish thing who created something, that must reflect on some truth inside your soul and you're actually completely open to talking about You and not your work. i cannot handle that. i don't have a body, and i don't exist to you. please consider me a machine that pumps out art.

i think working in animation broke my brain when it comes to feedback. if it's not :thumbs up emoji: or "fix this", i don't know how to respond, especially if people are looking to get personal. so if you've ever been nice to me and saw me struggling to compute, thank you again.

I hope you stay safe, wherever you are in the world.

--xoxo becky